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Top Funny Quotes : kenten132: blue-eyed-korra: xgminigypsy: punkybarnes82: spyde…

Top Funny Quotes



kenten132:

blue-eyed-korra:

xgminigypsy:

punkybarnes82:

spyderqueen:

keab42:

beachfox:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

ffermented-salmonella:

goddessolga:

since1938:

My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

Canon Jesus > Fanon Jesus.

Jesus: Well that sounds like a YOU problem.

Always reboot

I love this post so much

My boi Jesus being a boss as always👏🏻

Don’t even follow the Bible but goddamn